There’s Hope After Suffering

Stepping back from the edge. Their mom’s suicide changed everything. Here’s how they found hope again.

Though it’s been a few years this day since their mother killed herself, they still catch their breath, feel sick and dizzy, and need to remind themselves to breathe. They can say it out loud now. She killed herself. She hung herself in front of us.

They wanted to know every fact, every detail, with everything they saw, because they didn’t have the one thing they wanted – the why.

For three years, siblings Igor (10) and Sasha (12), could not even talk. They would go to bed and cover themselves with a blanket, bodies clenched into a ball.

Even more than accidental death, suicide generates horror, anger, shame, confusion, and guilt—all feelings that a child can experience as overwhelming.

Igor and Sasha felt all of these – but particularly guilt – after their mother died, and they worried that they did something to cause her death. They say, “If only I’d done what Mom asked me to do. If only I’d done all my chores. If only I hadn’t fought with my brother so much. If I’d only been more loveable. ”

Allies mentors met these two hurting hearts and showered love and gentle attention on them. They brought them under their wing and nurtured their suffering souls. Allies made sure Igor and Sasha knew they did nothing wrong. The suicide was definitely not their fault. It had nothing to do with anything they said or did.

Allies mentors did a good job in providing simple and honest answers to their questions and made them know that their feelings are acceptable. Anger, shame, confusion, and guilt at a mother or a father who committed suicide is normal, and it doesn’t mean a betrayal of the love you have or the terrible loss you may be feeling.

Now the children are recovering from their traumatic past. They play more with other children and are establishing the foundations of their social and emotional learning.

Every meeting with them we strive to show love and hope. We spend time with them by taking them out on weekends and showing them how to live life again – how to see the good in this world. We give them food, presents, toys, hugs, and smiles. We play with them, feed them, and show them that people care and want to help.

Recovering from such a traumatic event like Igor and Sasha went through is difficult. It takes many years and many hugs and words of encouragement from supportive friends and mentors. Even though healing occurs, things will never be the same for these two. Allies mentors are committed for the long term to help Igor and Sasha and children just like them. We are so grateful for your support and partnership in helping children like Igor and Sasha. You are truly saving lives!